Confronting Our Inner Self
The major "theme" of the Lenten season can be described by this line of Scripture: "Repent and believe in the Gospel" (Mk. 1:15). To repent can mean to "turn away from" or to "convert." To repent is to look into our hearts, see what is not of God, acknowledge it, and turn to God, asking Him for the grace to leave behind those things.
We all have demons to face. We all have weaknesses and flaws to confront. We all have urges and tendencies to abandon. We all have to seek the mercy of the Father. Judas of Iscariot held the role of treasurer among the Apostles and it was the object of this position that he ultimately traded for his friend and Savior, Jesus Christ. The love of money, for Judas, brought him to his demise. He allowed greed to take over. When Judas realized what he had done he returned the money but his heart was too filled with guilt, remorse, and shame that he was unable to see the Father's love and to receive the Father's mercy. All Judas saw when he looked inside his heart was darkness and pain and hopelessness. He was unable to see the light.
Peter, the very Apostle who proposed to build tents on Mt. Tabor, pleaded with Jesus to let him follow Him to where He is to go. Our Lord told him that he could not go now to where He is going but that he will go later. Peter, filled with zeal as usual, said to Jesus that he would lay down his life for Him. But, Jesus informed him that he would deny Him three times instead. Like Judas, Peter must have felt shameful and guilty when he realized that he had denied the Lord three times before the cock crowed. He could not keep his word. Instead of laying down his life for Jesus, Peter denied of knowing Him and ran away instead. He allowed fear to take over. However, unlike Judas, Peter was able to hold on to some hope, he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel - he enabled the "mountaintop experiences" to motivate him and drive him to keep living and to keep walking [by faith]. Perhaps he remembered what the Lord said - where He was going he could not go now, but he will later. This "later" implies hope for the future. Peter held fast to hope and he later reconciled with the Lord and he was asked if he loved Him three times.
What are the things I need to confront? Do I confront it in the darkness or in the light?
At the heart of conversion is relationship. It is about individuals and not objects or sins themselves. We want to turn away from sin not primarily because of the objective "badness" of the sin but because that sin hurt someone. Our sins hurt ourselves, others, and God. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, "there is no real conversion until that sin is related to an offense against the Person of God." To convert and to repent is to love. We want to repent and return to God because we have come to realize the gift the Father's love and want to receive it and to share it with others. In confronting our inner demons we will come to desire to return to the Father. Let us ask the Father to give us the grace to turn to Him and to put all our fears and anxieties into His hands.
We all have demons to face. We all have weaknesses and flaws to confront. We all have urges and tendencies to abandon. We all have to seek the mercy of the Father. Judas of Iscariot held the role of treasurer among the Apostles and it was the object of this position that he ultimately traded for his friend and Savior, Jesus Christ. The love of money, for Judas, brought him to his demise. He allowed greed to take over. When Judas realized what he had done he returned the money but his heart was too filled with guilt, remorse, and shame that he was unable to see the Father's love and to receive the Father's mercy. All Judas saw when he looked inside his heart was darkness and pain and hopelessness. He was unable to see the light.
Peter, the very Apostle who proposed to build tents on Mt. Tabor, pleaded with Jesus to let him follow Him to where He is to go. Our Lord told him that he could not go now to where He is going but that he will go later. Peter, filled with zeal as usual, said to Jesus that he would lay down his life for Him. But, Jesus informed him that he would deny Him three times instead. Like Judas, Peter must have felt shameful and guilty when he realized that he had denied the Lord three times before the cock crowed. He could not keep his word. Instead of laying down his life for Jesus, Peter denied of knowing Him and ran away instead. He allowed fear to take over. However, unlike Judas, Peter was able to hold on to some hope, he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel - he enabled the "mountaintop experiences" to motivate him and drive him to keep living and to keep walking [by faith]. Perhaps he remembered what the Lord said - where He was going he could not go now, but he will later. This "later" implies hope for the future. Peter held fast to hope and he later reconciled with the Lord and he was asked if he loved Him three times.
What are the things I need to confront? Do I confront it in the darkness or in the light?
At the heart of conversion is relationship. It is about individuals and not objects or sins themselves. We want to turn away from sin not primarily because of the objective "badness" of the sin but because that sin hurt someone. Our sins hurt ourselves, others, and God. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, "there is no real conversion until that sin is related to an offense against the Person of God." To convert and to repent is to love. We want to repent and return to God because we have come to realize the gift the Father's love and want to receive it and to share it with others. In confronting our inner demons we will come to desire to return to the Father. Let us ask the Father to give us the grace to turn to Him and to put all our fears and anxieties into His hands.
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