Hearing what I want to Hear

It's true isn't it?  We sometimes only hear what we want to hear.  If it sounds similar to what I would say, then yes I am all in, "I hear ya."  But if what is offered is criticism, words that are hard to swallow, then "No thank you.  Didn't hear what you said."  Have you ever experienced that?

Why is it so hard to listen to, let alone receive, criticism?  I know it's hard for me because it attacks my pride and selfishness.  I want to present myself as perfect, and when someone hints slightly that I am not, I get frozen, unsure how to respond, and do not listen.  In telling me that I was not as good as I believed I was, it attacks my pride; in sharing with me thoughts and ideas I could improve upon, it attacks my selfishness.  I think these two qualities are a dynamic duo, but a bad one, an unhealthy one, one that can lead to fractured relationships and destructive self image. 

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus said to the Jewish people: "I do not accept human praise; moreover, I know that you do not have the love of God in you.  I came in the name of the my Father, but you did not accept me; yet if another comes in his own name, you will accept him."  I should not need the praise of any human beings because I should not really be doing things to please them.  Everything that I do and every thought that I think should be for the greater glory of God, which is also the greater good of the people around me.  However, this does not mean that I should not listen to other people's advice or suggestions.  God sends people into my life to relay messages and wake up calls.  So, when someone offers me advice I must discern whether it is coming from God or is it coming from a place of human selfishness and pride. 

What I mean is this: is the person saying this to me for my good, or is this person saying this because of an ulterior motive.  If it is for my good then it is coming from the "name of the Father," and I must heed, but if it is said because of an ulterior motive, then it is from that person's own name, then I should avoid and reject.  It is difficult to determine which is which.  That is why we must pray and ask for guidance and clarity.  We must also communicate with people to learn how things sound when it comes from God.  It should invoke a sense of joy and peace inside of us.  I do not mean the joy of hearing what we want to hear, but the joy that makes us feel challenged and loved, the joy that makes us feel accepted as we are and not blamed and identified by our wrongdoings, but at the same time the joy that should not make us feel content with our weaknesses and flaws.  If it comes from the Father, it should also stir up inside of a us a desire to improve, a desire to make things betters, and a desire to love Him and others even more.   

Let us pray to the Father asking Him for the grace of clarity and good judgment.  Let us also ask Him for the grace of humility and wisdom. 

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