Living in Denial and Unbelief

Imagine this scenario:

You are the homeroom teacher for one section of high school juniors.  Throughout the semester you have reminded them daily "Phones away during prayers and announcements."  The students had a rocky start but later caught on and were generally compliant and had no phones out during homeroom.  The end of the semester comes and everyone goes home for Christmas break.  Ten days later everyone comes back for the first day of the new semester.  It is 7:40AM and the first bell rings - a warning bell.  The bell rings again at 7:50AM.  Everyone is in their homerooms and prayers come on through loudspeaker.  You find that 70% of students have their phones out.  How do you respond?

If I were the teacher I would be quite disappointed, but at the same time not completely shocked.  I don't want to say I expected it because I had hope that my students who continue with their good work - I mean not the entire class violated the rule, only 70% did.  So for some students the seed that was planted to take root.  Nonetheless I will have expressed my disappointment but at the same time reminded them of the rule and affirm how well they've done before and that the behavior they're exhibiting now is not really them, for they can do much better because they know better.  

Jesus does something similar with His disciples.  In his Gospel, Mark gives us a quick recap of the Jesus' appearance to Mary Magdalene and to the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, and how each time the Apostles chose not to believe them (Mk. 16:9-15).  When Jesus appeared to the Eleven at the dinner table, He "rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart because they had not believed those who saw him after he had been raised."  I can just imagine Jesus saying to them, "C'mon guys.  What's the problem?  You've been with me for three years, and I have told you and taught you many things.  I have told you that I would be handed over and would suffer and die.  But that I will rise up again on the third day.  Have you forgotten already?  Don't you remember the parables I have told you?  Do you remember Lazarus and the rich man?  Are you to be like the rest of the people and the Pharisees who do not believe?  Prophets have been sent to them and they choose to not listen and believe.  In the same way, I have sent people to tell you the good news that I have been raised and yet you chose to not believe them.  Are you any different?"  Then I can just hear silence.  This silence is tremendous work being done interiorly.  

The Apostles must have been thinking and feeling a multitude of things - from feeling bad, shameful, and guilty, to feeling stupid, foolish, but at the same time happy that Jesus is here.  Then, Jesus gives them a mission to preach this Good News to all creatures.  Instead of giving up on them, Jesus once again confides in them, and entrust to them a mission of great importance. 

When were the times I have chosen to not believe and harden my heart?  Has God sent people in my life to help me and I have chosen to reject them?  Have we become like the Pharisees who have hardened their hearts and chosen not to believe even when they have seen the great works - e.g., the Apostles curing the lame in the name of Jesus?  Thankfully our God is a patient and forgiving God.  He works with us.  He meets us where we are and helps us to grow.  He has a mission of great importance and urgency for us.

Let us allow God to meet us in the silence.  Ask Him why you have chosen to not believe at times.  Ask Him why your heart is hardened.  Ask God to teach you to believe and to soften your hearts.  Ask God for the grace of a believing heart and trusting disposition.  

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