Conflict Resolution

“If your brother sins against you,

go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Matthew 18:15

Memorial of St. Jane Frances de Chantal


Oftentimes I find that when people have a problem with another person, they would go and tell everyone about the problem except that person. Yes, it may have some therapeutic effects by venting and unloading with a trusted friend or mentor, but it doesn’t solve the problem. Jesus told His disciples that if we have a problem with another person, we ought to go to that individual in person and not everyone else first. To resolve any conflict, we must face it head on and we must encounter the other. If that doesn’t work then we bring other people in.

There is something special about the 1 on 1 encounter. There is a vulnerability there as well as trust and humility. These enable us to reveal ourselves to the other in a way that touches the heart. It is only when the heart is reached will there be forgiveness, reconciliation, and resolution. When you go to confession, you go before the Lord. At Eucharistic Adoration, it’s just you and Jesus. And when we go to our brother or sister with whom we are having difficulty or trouble, Jesus will be there with you. Only when we bring Christ into the picture will that vulnerability and trust be possible and forgiveness, reconciliation, and resolution will come. So, when problems arise, go to the person, but first to Jesus and ask Him to go with you.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Prodigal Son and Our Belovedness in the Father, Part I

Selections from Part I of a talk I gave on the Parable of the Prodigal Son Younger son (YS) – “give me” mentality, I deserve my inheritance, it belongs to me – I take; “The son is as impatient as the father was kind” (Peter Chrysologus).   (Grasping and grabbing)   Really saying to the Father:  “I wish you were dead.”  It is usually only when someone dies that we receive inheritance. Imagine what takes place during those few days before the son leaves.   When the son leaves and sets off to a distant country, he is not only leaving home, but he is leaving himself.   He wishes to leave his identity behind.   He wants to be his own person.   How often are we tempted by this?   “Be somebody” the world tells us.   Somebody powerful, rich, and famous.   Be somebody.   We are already somebody.   We are God’s beloved.   Each one of us.   We are loved by the Father from all eternity.   “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”   Apart from his father, he has no identity.   By leavin
Read more

The Prodigal Son and Our Belovedness in the Father, Part II

Selections from Part II of a talk I gave on the Parable of the Prodigal Son Part II: The Encounter – Reconciliation and Communion “His father caught sight of him.”   What was the father doing all this time?   When the son petitioned to leave, the Father did not plead and cling on to the son.   He lets him go, not because he did not love him.   But because the Father loved him.   In loving him, the Father allowed the son to act in freedom and exercise his free will.   The father said, “Okay, here is your share.   If you want to, you can go.   I will not stop you. The world is not pretty.   It can only offer you temporary comfort and happiness.   You can go, but know that when you go, you will experience pain and suffering.   You will experience a profound sense of loss and lacking.   You will be hurt.   You will be rejected.   But you can go.   Go, but know that this will always be your home.   You may already have your share of the inheritance that should come to you when I die
Read more

People of One Heart and Mind

The portrait painted about the early Church by St. Luke in the Acts of the Apostles was one that expressed unity and communion.  We are told that "the community of believers was of one heart and mind" (Acts 4:32).  Then we are given a description of how they had put that "one heart and mind" into action - by sharing their time, talent, and treasure.  They were able to do so because they had one mission and were One in the Father. Are we a people of one heart and one mind?  This means do we have God in our hearts?  Do we root our identity and all that we do in the Father and His love?  Then we must ask do we see our mission as one.  The mission Jesus gave to His disciples was to proclaim the Good News to all nations and creatures.  This Good News is the Resurrection.  This Good News is the hope of eternal life.  This Good News is the ransom paid for our freedom from slavery to sin.  This Good News is the love of the Father.  To carry out this mission in proclaimi
Read more

When Jesus Descended into Hell

Image
"Cercate il Suo Volto" is Italian for "Seek His Face" (see Ps. 27:8). I first heard of the Italian phrase from the "Abba Pater" album by Pope John Paul II.  It was the first track of the album.  My high school Junior Theology teacher had introduced me to it and gave me a copy of it.  I am very grateful to him because it opened up for me a more in-depth interest, studying of, and reading of the Scriptures.  And, of course listening to the Pope recite it with inspiring and motivational music in the background made it all the better (not that the Word itself isn't good enough, but you know what I mean!).  Anyways, so why am I bringing this verse from Psalm 27 up?  "Seek His Face." On Holy Thursday we read in the Gospel that Jesus gave the Apostles an example of humble service and true leadership.  To serve is to lead, with love at its core.  On Good Friday we read the Passion Narrative where we hear Our Lord cry in fulfillment of the prophec
Read more

"It is I" - The Three Words that Casts Out All Fear

Image
After a long day, the disciples went ahead of Jesus, sailing to Capernaum.  The winds were blowing, and the skies were dark.  After sailing out a good distance, they saw Jesus walking on water and they began to fear and grow afraid.  At this Jesus said to them, " It is I.  Do not be afraid ." When I read and listen to this Gospel passage I am always reminded of incidences where parents or nurses trying to distract the child as pediatricians are trying to administer vaccinations.  The child is scared and anxious, afraid of the pain that the needle will induce and confused as to who these people are.  But the parent or a kind stranger offers comfort, a smile, or a funny story or joke.  Sometimes even a tasty treat.  All while the pediatrician pinches the child with the needle, injecting a solution that can potentially prevent the child from danger.  When all is done sometimes the child doesn't even remember a shot was administered and sometimes he realized and felt the pa
Read more